The secret he kept
by Rosaliiec
Summary: Castiel is in love with with Dean but on a Djinn hunt, Cas is captured and his secret might be revealed.
1. Chapter 1

**_This Fanfiction was inspired by a post on Tumblr. I hope you will love reading it as much as I love writing it_**

 ** _Enjoy! xox_**

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Castiel walked around the bunker for the first time, exploring the Winchesters new 'Batcave' as Dean called it. The place was created by the Man of Letters in the 1930's and the place was in incredible shape for it's old age and the fact it had been abandoned for quite a long time. Castiel came upon the library and immediately felt like he was in his element. Libraries gave him a sense of comfort and peace unlike anything else besides being with Dean.

Dean. The man Castiel gripped tight and raised from perdition. The man with beautiful green eyes and a strong frame. Castiel loved everything about Dean; his hair, his freckles, muscular body and bow legged legs.

When Castiel first came to earth, he hadn't planned on gaining human emotions towards anything; or anybody for that matter. He had planned to only follow orders while keeping an eye on his charge. It had been like that in the beginning; Dean was a simple ape and Castiel was an angel of the Lord, he was above Dean. But that quickly changed as the days, weeks, months went by. His feelings grew for his charge, feelings he didn't understand yet and that scared him. Cas of course, acted like he didn't feel anything, acted like Dean was nothing but his charge. Yet; he always had to stand too close to Dean, look at him for too long and to intensely.

Castiel looked around the library. He graced his fingertips on the covers of books enjoying the feels of them under his touch. His was lost in thoughts when Dean came up to him.

"I see you found the library," He said, his voice deep and rough. Castiel nodded without looking at him, he was still in his mind but he acknowledged Dean's presence and voice. "she's a beauty...Home." Dean continued, patting Castiel's shoulder as he passed the angel to sit at the table in the middle of the room.

Castiel didn't answer, lately his feeling for Dean had become clear as day and he knew, that he was in love with his charge. He couldn't face Dean, he couldn't tell him his true feelings for him, all he could do was sit back and ignore his sentiments.

"I think I found a case." Sam said abruptly storming in the room and sitting at the table. Castiel turned around to look at the younger Winchester, hoping this so called 'case' would keep his mind off Dean. "What kinda case is it?" Dean asked, sipping on his beer. "Djinn, in Colorado" Sam replied simply.

"When we leaving?"

"At dawn, preferably. Its taken about five teenagers in the past two weeks, We should hurry." Sam said. Castiel listened closely as Sam explained where the Djinn was, the victims and so on. As the boys talked about the case, Castiel walked around looking at books and briefly glancing inside them. He heard a ruckus behind him and assumed the the guys were calling it a night and going to bed so, he headed to the stairs to leave the brothers for the night without glancing to the boys when, all of a sudden, Dean stopped him.

"Hey man, you ok?" He said, looking at Cas. But he couldn't bring himself to look back at the man he loved, therefore Castiel looked everywhere but at the man in front of him and nodded slowly. Dean scuffed and continued, "Sure, whatever Cas."

Castiel looked at him for a brief moment then looked away again. "You coming with us tomorrow?" Dean asked next. "Of course Dean."

"You can stay here tonight if you want."

"If you wish." Castiel said and walking away, leaving Dean standing alone in the Library. Dean shook his head and headed to his brothers room.

Lately Castiel was more distant and quiet which worried Dean and he wanted to see if Sam had noticed it as well. When he reached Sam's room he knocked twice before letting himself in. Sam looked up briefly at his brother when he entered then continued packing for the morning.

"What's up Dean?"

"Have you noticed something's off with Cas?" Dean asked laying on his brothers well made bed. Sam looked back at his older brother as he thought about the angel, the angel had been avoiding looking and speaking to the guy but certainly not to Sam.

"Well ya, I guess. He's been distancing himself from you. I mean Cas can barely look at you… Maybe something's going on upstairs." Sam stated, the look Dean gave him told Sam that he didn't like the answer he got, but Dean had asked for it so Sam continued. "In fact, the more his isolates himself from you, the more he gets closer to me. He spends a lot of time with me now when usually he's all over you."

Dean's frown deepened at his brothers words. "Shut up bitch! Cas is not _all_ over me. Anyways, you have noticed that he's a little off?" he asked Sam.

"Yes Dean. I have. Now that you have your validation from me that guy's stranger than usual, are you okay? Because if it is I gotta get ready." Sam replied angrily. His brother could be so bitchy sometimes and it was really annoying. "Ya ya, I'm leaving, and you might want to see if your periods are on their way there Samantha, you're acting like a prissy dick again." Dean said as he left his little brothers room. Sam rolled his eyes and muttered; "Jerk."

"Bitch!" Dean retorted back as he closed the door behind him. He headed to the kitchen for some chips, on his way he saw Cas sitting quietly in a chair in the library, reading some book. He looked so at ease, at peace. At the sight of him Dean smiled and continued his way to the chips that were calling his name. When he left the kitchen, Castiel was gone. The book was laying open on the table and the chair was pushed back. Dean frowned and went over to the book, it was about Djinn's, Dean shrugged and went to his room, calling it a night.

 **-TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

_**This Chapter is short. I'm very sorry about that. The next one will be longer I promise**_

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Castiel left the bunker in a hurry, he stayed long enough so that the Winchesters wouldn't get worried. As soon as the coast was clear, he dashed out and flew away to find his beloved brother.

"Gabriel?" He asked, he was in a warehouse across the country. The place was dark and humid, there was dust and mold in every corner of the room. What was Gabriel doing in here?

"Brother?" Castiel called, hoping for an answer. When he got nothing he tried again. "Gabriel, brother, I need your help." Castiel said loudly, he needed Gabriel, needed advice. Castiel needed his brother.

"Cassie?" Gabriel said a minute later coming out of the dark. The guy was dirty and looked tired. "What are you doing here?" Gabe asked, giving his brother a menacing look.

"I needed some advice…" Castiel replied avoiding his brother's gaze looking around the room when; he spotted a man's body on the ground. "What did you do brother?" Castiel asked staring at the man's wrecked body.

"He got what he deserved. Remember Cassie, i'm also Loki." Gabe replied nonchalantly. With a wave of his hand, Gabriel made the body disappear and the angels continued talking like nothing happened. "What is it you want to talk about?" Gabe asked, sticking a lollipop in his mouth.

"I need advice Brother."

"About what?" He asked next, sitting on a newly appeared chair. Castiel looked at his brother and sat on the chair Gabe had made appear from him. Once he sat there, Castiel looked at his brother and swallowed the massive lump in his throat.

"It's about Dean-o, isn't it?" Gabriel said after a while in silence. Castiel looked at him with big eyes and mouth wide open. "How did you-"

Gabriel laughed, cutting off the younger angel. "Castiel, brother, I know you better than you know yourself." He said simply a smile gracing his face. Castiel nodded and looked at his hands, they were neatly folded on his lap twitching here and there. "What should I do about my feelings for him then?"

Gabe looked at him smile fading as quickly as it came. "Cassie, follow your heart man. There's nothing I can do to help. We aren't aloud to love a human, nor have engage in any sort of sexual contact. You've always been a good soldier, now you have to chose between heaven or happiness."

"Why do I have to choose? Why can't I have both?

Gabriel sighed loudly. Was Castiel this dense! "Cassie! Heaven would never accept it. Remember what happened last time an angel fell in love with a human?" Castiel nodded slowly thinking of Jane; the only Angel/Human hybrid left in existence.

"Yes…" Castiel replied slowly. He remembered hearing about her, how angels thought she was an abomination. He also remembered the killing of her parents, Castiel had stood in the back in the shadows, watching the slaughter of an angel and a human in love. It had hurt, it hurt that two people would get killed for loving each other and creating life.

"Even before she was created, Heaven had a target on that angel and the human. Loving Dean is a risk, showing it off would be a death sentence." Gabriel said. He looked at Castiel who looked defeated and crushed. Gabe sighed and scooted closer to the younger angel. "Cas?" He asked.

"Yes Gabriel?" Castiel responded, voice low and gruff. "This is what I would do," Gabe started. "I'd be with Dean. Love is a strong and powerful thing, any angel should be honored to feel that."

Castiel looked at the Archangel befuddled. "You-You really think so?" He asked gently. Gabriel laughed and patted his brother on the shoulder. "Yes Cassie, if I was in love I'd screw Heaven and go live the rest of my days with that person." Castiel smiled, but it faded quickly when he thought of Dean's feelings.

He sighed and said, "It doesn't matter thought. He does not feel the same way."

"Are you sure?" Gabe questioned, he thought about the hunter. The few times he had seen him with Castiel they had seen pretty close. They always regarded each other, and shared a look that seemed filled with love and passion.

Castiel didn't know, Dean was either so easy to read or a damn mystery. "No, I am not and I am scared to find out." Gabriel nodded and said "Ok, well I have to go now and remember, follow your heart me dear brother." And with that, the Archangel disappeared leaving Castiel alone with his thoughts.

Castiel looked into nothingness, thinking of how he felt and how it hurt knowing that no matter what, he would never be able to be with Dean...

 **-TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**_This is my shortest chapter. They will get longer I promise_**

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The next day, Sam woke up early and since his brother was still asleep, he took the advantage and took the longest shower of his life. He thought about the conversation he and Dean had before they went to bed. Castiel made no attempt to talk to Dean or listen to him anymore. Sam had noticed the way Castiel looked at Dean, it was filled with sadness and want, it hurt to see the angel look at a human who was oblivious of the fact that someone so close to him loved him with that much passion.

He came out of the shower, steam fogged every surface it could. Sam leaned over the sink and breathed harshly. He wiped his hand over the mirror to look at himself, the lack of sleep showing in the depth of his skin. Sam thought about the hunt they were going on, he hated Djinn's, he remembered the time Dean had been captured a few years ago and it sent shivers through his body. He was secretly scared to go and face one again but knowing that Castiel was with him, calmed him a bit.

He dried himself up quickly, got dressed and went into the kitchen. In the kitchen, Castiel sat on a worn out chair reading a book from the library.

"Hey Cas," Sam said as he walked in. Castiel looked up at the youngest Winchester before going back to his book, lifting the corner of his lips a bit, barely noticeable. A moment later, Dean walked in a wide smile on his face.

"What you readin' Cas?" Dean said, appearing in the kitchen.

"Djinn." Cas replied simply, not even looking up. Dean looked at Sam and Sam shrugged smile fading from his lips. The brothers ate their breakfast in silence, watching Castiel closely. When they finished eating, the boys grabbed their equipment and headed out the bunker with Castiel right behind them. Dean got in the driver's seat with Sam as shotgun. When they were inside, Castiel gently slipped himself in the back and closed the door. The ride was spent in an awkward silence, when spoken too, Castiel did not answer, he didn't even acknowledge them which frustrated Dean to know end. _After this hunt,_ He thought, _I'll pry out whatever the Hell is wrong with him._

"Good luck with that…" Castiel mumbled right after Dean finished his thought. Dean looked back at Castiel and frowned. "Quit getting in my head Cas… We talked about this." He answered angrily. Castiel didn't even flinch at Dean's aggressiveness. Sam turned to look at Cas than back at Dean, Dean looked back at him and sighed, shaking his head.

The rest of the way was spend in a thick silence, Dean was tense and Castiel looked depressed and unfortunately for Sam, he was stuck in the car with them.

 **-TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

_**I love how this story is developing. It honestly gives me chills!**_

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They made it to the town of Aurora in the middle of the afternoon, the city was nice and quiet it almost felt desert-like. At the Travelodge Motel, Castiel couldn't get out of the car fast enough, he felt sick and weak and had to get away so when the boys got out of the car Castiel mumbled "I'll be back," and flew away leaving the boys alone for a few hours before they had to go kill the 'son-of-a-bitch'

The afternoon went by quickly, the brothers went around asking questions like they normally did, the victims were all girls with major similarities. The teens all had blonde shoulder length hair, brown eyes and they all were 18 years old.

Dean stormed out the last house sighing deeply followed by Sam. Dean hadn't been able to concentrate all afternoon, lost in thought and frustration. In the car nothing was said, Sam looked at Dean in worry, it troubled him to see his brother like that, he thought about the previous Djinn hunt and cringed at the tight feeling he felt in his chest. If Dean wasn't focused many things could go wrong… "Do you want to talk about it?" Sam asked cautiously, Dean tensed and said nothing, speeding 20 km/h (12.43 miles) over the speed limit. Sam didn't push, he knew it would only make his older brother angrier.

Meanwhile, Castiel sat on top of a roof top, head high in the sky, feeling the cool air grace his skin. He breath in deeply, filling his lungs with fresh air and exhaling loudly. He felt free, he felt safe and serene until he watched the humans. He watched people go by, talking and laughing, seeing them created an ache in his stomach, he envied them. They all looked so happy and Castiel wasn't, he wanted to be happy, happy with Dean.

His phone buzzed a few times, it was always Dean asking if he was okay and what he was doing but Castiel would never answer, he'd look at the text and discard it, ignoring the pain in his chest. He stayed on top of the building for what seemed like forever. It was an hour since the last text when his phone buzzed, it was Dean... again. _Come the motel, room 53._ Was all it said. Castiel breathed hard one last time before flying to see the brothers.

The room was small yet cozy, as you entered there were, on the left, two double beds separated by a small nightstand. The soft blue tones on the walls with the white furniture and accessories made the room as peaceful as it could be with all this tension floating around. On the right was a TV and set with a four place table next to it, at the back was a white kitchenette equipped with everything and the bathroom was situated at the far left side of the room.

"Yes?" Castiel asked gruffly, the brothers turned around abruptly shocked by the sudden appearance than shared a look that Castiel didn't quite get.

"Hello to you too…" muttered Dean under his breath, rolling his eyes. Castiel frowned at him and walked around the room looking about. Sam coughed feeling awkward, breaking the thick silence that filled the small room. "Ya-umh where have you been all day?" Sam asked looking back down to his computer.

Castiel looked at him with no expression and replied: "Been busy". Sam, not knowing to reply started talking about the case. "Well, about the case, the people we talked to all said that the girls went to the same place and disappeared. The cops said they looked there but they didn't find anything it's just outside Mississippi ave. and Grand Baker st. You guys want to go take a look at it?"

"Ya sure," Dean stated, "whatever we can do to kill that son-of-a-bitch so it can leave these people alone."

"I will join." Castiel replied, emotionless. The corner of Sam's lips rose slightly, content with the answer he got. He closed his laptop and got up to grab his gear. In one quick motion, Dean grabbed his duffle bag and headed out to his beloved car,

Sam followed him closely. He stopped at the door looking at Castiel when the angel didn't follow them right away. "You comin' Cas?" Sam asked.

"I will be right there." Castiel said, looking around the room. "Alright. We'll be in the car." Sam responded on a low tone, closing the door behind him softly.

Castiel looked at the door; inhaling and exhaling loudly. _I can do this. A simple Djinn won't be that hard._ With his mental pep talk done, he got up and exited the room, going in the car.

 **-TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

**_I know I haven't updated in a long ass time and i'm sorry! Keep in mind that i'm lazy and I sleep most of my life away..._**

 ** _Chapter 5 five you ask for, chapter 5 you shall receive!_**

* * *

From where they were heading, they boys had a perfect view of the sun dipping behind the mountains and the plans indicating the approach of nightfall. The sky was a soft red and pink slowly graduating to purple on top with the black of night enhancing the scenery upon them.

Castiel sighed, looking up at the sky, he looked at the open road and was almost breathless at his surroundings, his Father could do incredible things. He closed his eyes and prayed to God, to his beloved Father. _Father, I know you can hear me and I am sure you are aware of my feelings for my charge, for Dean. Forgive me, Father… I cannot help myself from feeling these things inside, but I promise you Father, that I will not act upon these feelings but simply protect my charge as I was instructed. I am truly sorry._ He opened his eyes and found them watery, confused, he wiped them with his thumbs and looked outside the passenger window appreciating everything around him.

Sam had seen everything, he had seen how Castiel had prayed, he had seen how he had looked when he'd opened his eyes. It tore him apart to see the angel so… so… Sam couldn't find the words for it. He looked at Castiel a bit more before looking back to Dean who was singing along to Cherry Pie from Warrant. Sam rolled his eyes and looked out of his own window determined to find what was wrong with Cas.

Next to him Dean wanted to find exactly the same thing. Of course he had his theories, trouble upstairs or maybe he needed to get laid… but whatever the problem was with the feathery angel, he was going to figure it out. He had no idea that he was the source of all this tension.

When they arrived to the warehouse, night had come upon them. The sky was dark, filled with millions of lights. The building looked worn and was falling apart. The windows were mostly broken and dusty, the grey and white brick was full of cracks and missing brick pieces, vines climbed up the left side of the warehouse, adding a speck of colour.

The boys got out of the car in one synchronized motion and breathed in. Dean looked across to Sam and then to Castiel, they all nodded to each other and made their way inside, slowly. Inside, the stench was almost unbearable. It smelled like decay and rotting corpses which added the boys worry.

Gun in hand and knife in the other, Dean motioned to Sam to go left, Cas right and he center, both nodded and did as they were told. Dean looked straight ahead of the hall and breathed heavily. His last Djinn experience was not one he wanted to relive so he would be vigilant and careful, testing every step he took.

He moved slowly and looked room to room, the stench twisting his stomach every which way. _This is bad, real bad…_ he thought to himself. Dean looked down the never ending hallway and gulped, he needed to find that asshole and kill him quickly because for some reason, he didn't think there was a good chance of finding any surviving girls.

Meanwhile, Sam moved at a good pace, searching room to room. There was nothing much on his side of the building, only empty rooms filled with bugs and rats. He made it to the end of the hall quickly, having found nothing remotely important and the stench almost gone, Sam figured the victims were on the other side, possibly near Cas. So, he decided to make his way to the right and follow his nose. He had a strange feeling in the pit of his gut. Something was going to happen, someone was going to get hurt.

Cas went his way, oblivious to his surroundings. He went about, opening door after door, checking every inch of the offices, the stench had gotten worse, it was so bad the Castiel's eyes watered from the horrific smell.

Halfway down the hall, a light caught his attention. There was no appearing light around him, but the small ray, in the far end of an office. On full alert now, Castiel grabbed his blade tightly and opened the door carefully. When he peeked inside, the rotting smell hit him hard like a slap across the face. He was definitely going in the right direction.

The office was big and spacious, the boss's bureau probably. Papers were everywhere on the floor with office supplies and shattered glass. Picture frames crocked or on the ground, a rug half on the wooden floor, half on the wall, chairs were upside down and the desk was sideways, near the dimmed source of life. When he reached the light, Castiel made out the beginning of a rectangular crevasse disguised in the decaying wooden floor boards.

Seeing as the desk blocked the access to the door, Castiel moved the bureau easily, making minimum noise in the progress. When the desk was removed, the light shone through the crevasse completely, the handle sticking out. Curious, Cas lifted the trap door slowly, delicately worried about what may lay ahead.

 **-TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

**_Alright, this Chapter is longer and there's finally action. Dean is starting to feel, you know - stuff towards Castiel and well you know how that's gonna end ;) Also I made it so that Castiel can't heal himself since his technically "away from his body". Enjoy :)_**

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The wooden stairs creaked with every step he took, the smell was almost unbearable, he covered his mouth with the crook of his elbow and descended the stairs. Once down, he looked around, at first glance the basement seemed clear and normal but looking closer, a train of blood could be seen in the far right end of the place. He followed the red trail closely, looking behind him every few seconds, the blood ended at a door, it was made of metal with a small window on the upper right side, blood smeared across it. He opened the door gently and stepped inside the room carefully.

"What the-" He gets swung across the room, hitting his head on a support beam, he gets up easily and launches back. As he goes to punch him, it grabs his arm and rams his body to the ground, making the building shake, he's stunned for a second which gives it the upper hand. Its eyes start glowing bright blue and it presses its hand on his forehead, poisoning him.

His vision gets blurry and his body feels numb and all he can think about his charge and all that escapes his mouth as he is about the pass out is; "Dean…"

* * *

Sam walks through the halls looking room per room finding nothing, until he ends up where Cas had passed earlier. The stench was bad, his eyes watered and his nose burnt, breathing through his mouth didn't help, it only made things worst.

"Cas?" Sam asked quietly, after a few seconds of waiting, he got nothing. "Cas you here?" he asked louder. Soon after he heard a faint 'What the'; sounding exactly like Castiel followed by a loud thump sound.

Sam stood still, he raised his gun and walked slowly to the direction of Cas's voice, not even a minute later did he feel the ground beneath his feet shake. He panicked then and started looking room to room to find the angel. A faint light caught his attention and Sam rushed towards it, when he got there, he gagged at the horrific smell, he took a minute or two to compose himself and to somewhat get used to the disgusting odor.

 _Cas definitely found the place,_ Sam thought to himself as he walked in. He heard footsteps behind him, someone was running towards him, with his gun in hand he pointed to the direction of the footsteps until he heard his brother yelling: "Sam? Cas?"

"Over here Dean!" Sam yelled back, he turned back to the office, looking at the trap door. "You guys ok?" he heard next, Sam sighed and yelled back: "I'm fine! I don't know about Cas though!" Dean arrived soon after, out of breath with his nose covered by the crook of his elbow.

"Fuck it smells like shit in here." Dean said, looking at Sam.

"What do you expect Dean. Anyways let's go down there." Sam replied. Dean nodded and followed Sam down the old creaking stairs. They made their way down slowly and tentatively, Sam was certain that Castiel was down there, all the evidence suggested it after all. Just like Castiel, the brothers followed the train of blood until they reached the metal door.

It is opened widely exposing the view of a rotting body laying on the floor. Sam and Dean looked at each other with worried looks and stepped inside. Two of the victims were piled in the right corner of the room, the third was the first one they saw and the two last girls were strung up with tubs filled with blood coming out of ever direction, filling up sacks of the red liquid. In the middle of them was Castiel, pale and bruised all over.

"Cas!" Dean yelled at the sight of him. He ran up to Castiel's body and shook him. "Wake up Cas… Cas c'mon buddy…" He whispered, trying to keep his composure. Something snapped in Dean, seeing Castiel pale and injured like that made him go crazy and he felt sick. He was so overwhelmed with emotions… The mere thought of Castiel getting hurt or dying made Dean flustered with sadness and despair.

"Dean…" Sam said quietly next to one of the girls, the most recent capture by the Djinn. "She's alive. She's barely holding o-" Sam was cut off by a gentle hand on his shoulder. He stiffened and swallowed hard, he looked back slowly, very, very slowly. When he was able to look back enough, he made eye contact with it for a brief second and was launched into the air.

"Sammy!" Dean yelled, He let go of Castiel's limp body and launched towards the Djinn, getting brutally punched in the face in the process. He fell on the floor in one swift motion, the Djinn got on top of him and wrapped his right hand around Dean's neck. A blue glow approached his eyes, its free hand reaching out towards him. As it was about to lay his hand on Dean, Sam got up, took a wooden pole laying on the ground and smashed it on the Djinn's head several times - until it stopped moving.

"Fucking Christ…" Dean mumbled getting up. "It almost got me there… again." he said, he stretched and moaned when he moved his head a bit to quickly.

"You alright Dean?" Sam asked, breathing rapidly as if he'd ran a marathon.

"Ya, ya, i'm fine. I think I have a slight concussion but i'm fine besides that." Dean replied, massaging his scalp, hissing when he found a small gash.

"Let's get the angel back before you go all mommy on me k?" Dean asked stepping towards the angel.

 _We'll get my angel back._ Dean stopped in his tracks and stood wide eyes for a moment. Uh _m-uh, w-we'll get_ the _angel b-back. Ya that sounds right._ Dean thought as and Sam got to helping Cas and the only surviving girl left.

 _The hell is going on with me..._ Dean thought glancing at his hands.

 **-TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

_**This is where It gets asdfghjkl! I waited a long time to write this chapter and I'm glad I finally got here. I'm also amazed of the amount of people that like this fic and it warms my heart. Write me some feed back please! It's very appreciated.**_

 _ **ps: I put a picture of Dean and Castiel's bedroom in my pictures on my profile.**_

 _ **Love you lovelies!**_

* * *

"Cas..."

"Cas baby... Wake up"

Cas woke up, like waking up from sleep waking up. Angels never slept. Castiel kept his eyes closed, trying to assess the situation. He was in a very, very comfy bed, with his back touching someone else. The person smelt like pie and with what he could deduct, the person - male, Castiel assumed - was strong, body covered in muscles.

"Cas, we got to get to work." the man said, his voice smooth and strangely extremely familiar. That's when it clicked.

"Dean?" Cas whispered, opening his eyes. The bed was in the middle of the room, the walls a soft blue-grey kind of color. Picture frames hung from the walls. Pictures of him and Dean; kissing, laughing, goofing around.

"Ya?" Dean said, kissing his neck. Castiel turned around, finding that Dean was actually there. "Are you real?" Castiel asked bluntly. Dean looked at him with a warm gaze, he smile and kissed him gently. " 'course I am Cas. "

When Castiel didn't reply right away, Dean frowned. "Are you alright Cas?"

Castiel starred at him for a while, he nodded. "I love you Dean." Castiel breathed.

"I love you too Cas. Now if we don't want to be late again, we have to get up." Dean said, he kissed Cas's forehead and got up.

Smiling, Castiel got up and got ready for the day.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the real world, Sam and Dean brainstormed ideas, most of them stupid and surrealist. They shot ideas back and forth, but nothing good came out.

They fell silent after half an hour of arguing, fighting and brainstorming. Sam sat crossed legged on the floor, his head supported by his arm. Dean was pacing in front of Cas, once in awhile he would stop in front of Cas and stroke his face gently. 'A manly stroke' Dean would tell himself even though he knew that was complete bullshit.

Sam was staring at Dean when it hit him.

"I got it," Sam said. He got up a walk towards Dean.

"What" Dean muttered he had had enough of the idiotic ideas Sam had (and his, but he wasn't going to admit that).

"I'll go get him out." Sam said looking at Dean. His older brother just stared back at him with an empty gaze, he said nothing…

Sam sighed and said: "I'll go in his dream state thing and we'll kill ourselves in his dream."

Dean frowned pondering that idea for a while, he looked at Castiel, then back at Sam and sighed. "'K, but how are you gonna do that?" He asked, raising his eyebrow.

Sam shrugged, "I didn't figure that part out yet…"

Dean rolled his eyes in aggravation and walked away.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

Castiel came back home around 4 p.m. When he walked in he spotted Dean on the couch watching Dr. Sexy.

He smiled widely. Dean was perfect. Castiel felt blessed to have him in his life, to have him as a husband.

"Watching Dr. Sexy I see." Castiel said sweetly, deposing his briefcase on the floor near the door. Dean turned around and smiled brightly. "Hey babe, i'm glad you're back." he said, getting up from the couch.

Castiel grinned. "Did someone miss me?" he asked in a flirty way.

"Always…" Dean whispered. He slid his hands around his waist and lowered his lips to Castiel's. The kiss - even though brief - sent shivers down Castiel's spine and made the butterflies in his stomach go crazy.

"So," Dean said. "how was work at the University?"

Castiel shrugged. "Ok, I guess. Gabriel came to see me."

Dean's eyes opened widely. Had Cas said something wrong? "... And you aren't more fazed by this?" Dean asked. Castiel cocked his head to the side, a confused look gracing his face. "No… Why would I be?" Castiel replied.

"Well maybe because he disappeared and didn't make any attempt to contact you in the meanwhile!" Dean said then he muttered under his breath: "Angels are dicks…"

Castiel looked at Dean and smiled, he lifted his hand and cupped Dean's face. "Not all of them." he said with a wink which made Dean laugh. "Honestly, it was awkward at first, but then it was fine. And don't worry, I yelled at him a bit." he continued, smiling.

"This is why I love you." Dean said, kissing him, long and hard. A moan escaped Castiel's lips without warning which made Dean chuckle a bit. "I love you too Dean." Castiel whispered, his heart swelling with joy.

 **-TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8 is finally here! Sorry for being so slow, I'm graduating High School soon and I need to get my shit together... It doesn't help that I have a million and one projects to do. Anyways, I love you guys and thank you for following this story. The positive response I have gotten is incredible and I could not be any happier.**_

 _ **Enjoy!**_

* * *

Sam talked to Bobby on the phone for a few minutes, explaining the situation to the Godfather of hunting. "Good luck idjits…" Bobby muttered through his end, and hung up on him. Sam chuckled and came by Dean's side. "Ok," Sam started. "Bobby said you have to plug me in… Cas, so to speak." He blushed, knowing how utterly gay and weird that sounded.

Dean choked on the water he was drinking, startled by his younger brothers statement. "Excuse me?" Dean said. "You want me to what?" He asked. Sam sighed, grabbed Dean's arm and directed him in front of Cas.

"What I'm saying is, you have to hook up Castiel's tubes to my body." Sam replied. "Then since Castiel has the poison going through his blood, it'll transfer to my vascular system" He paused and looked at Cas. "And since we'll share the same dose of poison, so to speak, i'll be put to sleep and i'll appear in his dream or… or well, nightmare. Depending on which one he's in"

Dean looked at him, his eyebrows raised. He shifted his gaze to Cas and sighed. "Alright, as fucked up as that sounds, it's the best we've got... " He paused and rubbed his neck, "Let's get this over with." he grumbled. Sam gave him a short smile and went to work.

* * *

In Castiel's dream world, everything went peachy. Being with Dean; kissing him, making love to him, playing and goofing off with him was paradise. Castiel had never been happier than he was right at this moment.

He was at home watching TV when he heard the front door open. He turned around to find Dean covered in grease… and damn did he look sexy as fuck. Seeing Dean all dirty made blood rush down to his cock and made his head spin. He swallowed slowly and got up from the couch, in desperate need for contact from his lover.

"Hey Cas, how was work today?" Dean asked, taking his jacket off. Castiel smiled and slipped his hands around Dean's waist. "It was fun but, I'd rather be here with you." Castiel replied, dragging his lips across Dean's jaw line. Dean exhaled loudly and closed his eyes

"Mmm, me too baby." Dean whispered sensually, feeling is cock swell up in desire. Dean looked at Cas and he, back at Dean. The room was filled with heat and electricity and it didn't take long before both men were lost in a passionate kiss. Dean cup Castiel's face as he kissed him hard. Castiel was lost in the moment, every time Dean kissed him, he melted into his arms and would happily stay there for eternity if he could. Dean slowly descended his hands to Castiel's ass, cupped them firmly and in one swift motion, hoisted Castiel from the floor and carried him to their bedroom.

Castiel moaned as Dean tightened his grip on his ass and sucked ferociously on his neck. When they reached the bedroom Dean gently threw Castiel on the bed and climbed on top of him.

Each piece of clothing went off faster than the one before. "I want you in me now…" Castiel groaned, he needed this, he needed Dean in him. He loved Dean so much and nothing felt more right than making love. The burning passion and the complicity they shared was almost overwhelming for Castiel. As an angel, he had never felt anything so powerful than what he shared with Dean everyday. Dean considered Castiel as a gift send from God but truthfully, it was Dean, God had sent Castiel and he could not be more grateful.

As Dean was about to enter Castiel, they heard a loud knock from the front door.

"Are you fucking kidding me!" Dean growled, getting off of Castiel. Castiel rested his head back on the pillow, he tugged on Dean's arm and sighed. "Dean, I want you! Just ignore them." Cas mumbled.

As Dean considered Castiel's proposal, they heard the knock again; sounding louder and more demanding.

"For fuck's sake…" Dean said loudly, hoping off the bed. He put his underwear and pants back on with his dirty work shirt and stomped downstairs. Castiel got dressed as well feeling frustrated about being interrupted. He leaned on the door frame and exhaled loudly. He heard Dean speaking, but couldn't make out the other person's voice. He came downstairs to find Dean hugging his younger brother Sam.

He stopped mid step surprised; what could he be doing here? "Sam? What a pleasant surprised." Castiel said with a shy smile, continuing his way to the door. "Hey Cas…" Sam replied quickly, he looked awful and preoccupied. Sam was looking everywhere around the house as if he'd never been here, his adam's apple bobbed nervously and restlessly.

"Sam buddy, you okay?" Dean asked, stepping aside to let his brother in. Sam looked at Dean and around the home to finally lay his eyes cautiously on Cas. "Y-yeah. I came for a quick visit and um…" he paused and raised the bag he had in hand, "I brought burgers." he continued absently.

Dean seemed to forget about Sam's odd behavior right away and all his focus was directed on the burgers from the ROAD HOUSE. "Ha ha! Alright Sammy, come on in." Dean said, snatching the food from his younger brother.

As all three men walked to the kitchen, Sam eyed Castiel intensely.

 ** _* a few hours earlier *_**

Sam appeared in Bobby's driveway; confused and out of breath. It took him a while to realize he was in South Dakota and even longer to realize why he was there and where he had to go. Swallowing, Sam made his way down the dirt path surrounded by cars. When he got to the door, Sam knocked gently and entered the house. "Bobby?" Sam asked loudly. "In here!" Bobby replied straight away, recognizing Sam's voice. He closed the door behind him and made his way in the older hunter's living room, Bobby was standing over his desk looking through some of his old books and he looked up when Sam made his way towards him.

"Hey Bobby."

"Hey Sammy! What'u doin' here?" Bobby asked; hugging Sam. Sam smiled and said: "Do you know where Cas is?"

Bobby looked at him confused. "At home with Dean... Obviously. Why would you even ask that?" the older hunter asked. Sam ignored the hint of sarcasm, "Do, do they live together or something?" Sam asked next.

Bobby studied Sam intensely. "Are you sure you're ok Sammy?"

"It's Sam and yes I'm fine. Just... just answer the question Bobby." Bobby raised his eyebrow and sighed. "Well, I would think so. They've been married for two years." Bobby turned around and looked back at his book. "And where do they live?" Sam asked

"Your old house, where your mom died..." Bobby said under his breath. Sam tensed and slumped on the couch, he couldn't believe this was Castiel's _fantasy._ He thought it over and over; then it all made sense. Why Castiel acted the way he did, the way he was around Dean and how he was with everyone else.

Sam stood up rapidly, "Bobby, I need one of your cars." Sam asked quickly, he had to find Castiel and bring him home; even thought he knew Castiel wouldn't want to come back. "You sure you good to drive boy?" Bobby replied eyeing Sam. "Yeah Bobby look, call it temporary insanity ok? Now do you have a working car that can get me to Kansas?"

Bobby sighed, "Blue and gray one, front left..." Bobby muttered.

Sam stormed out the door and ran to the car. He swung the door open, started the engine and sped down the dirt road. He sped easily 20km/h over the speed limit rushing to Kansas. He made it at his moth- Dean's house around 6:30pm with burgers from Dean's favorite place.

 ** _* now *_**

Now, they sat around a light maple table; munching their burgers and sipping beer. They chatted during supper; but Sam was half listening and gave one-two word responses. He was lost in thought, over-thinking everything that was going on. How was he going to approach it? How could he take Castiel away from all of this? From Dean, from happiness... And most importantly, did Castiel know where he was?

 **-TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

**_Chapter 9 is here and I'm very excited! I took a long time to update because school is driving my free time and social life to the ground... But it's here, and it's getting interesting. I'll start on Chapter 10 right away for you guys. OH! Don't forget to write reviwes/comments, the more the merrier! Love you beauties xox_**

 ** _Enjoy!_**

* * *

Dean paced the basement where Castiel and Sam were still hooked up. The tubes passing through the two bodies was flowing a bluish-turquoise color; exchanging the poison between his brother and his best friend. He looked at his watch and shook nervously. The paleness of Castiel's face worried him; his damped hair fell across his forehead and started to curl. His skin shone with sweat and it looked like Castiel had not seen the sun for decades. His lips were a pale pink and started to crisp.

Dean walked up to Castiel and brushed his wet hair from Castiel's forehead gently, gracing his fingers on the angel's face. He lowered his hand to his cheek and sighed.

"Dean….." Castiel whispered. Dean jerked his hand away at the barely audible word. "Cas?" Dean asked loudly grabbing Castiel by the angel didn't respond. "Cas? Can you hear me?". Nothing. "Cas?... Damn it Cas!" Dean said shakily.

"I hope you're ok in there…" Dean whispered. He felt useless standing in front of the his younger brother and Castiel.

He looked at his angel, Dean really looked at Castiel's pale features. The slim yet strong frame Cas had, the pitch dark hair and his stubbled chin. Dean freed Castiel from his dirty beige trench coat and was surprised to see chiseled arms. As much as he tried to resist, Dean gave in to feel the angel's arm. The skin was so smooth that it sent shivers all through his body.

Dean was filled with emotions; confusion mostly. His stomach was all twisted in knots and he felt like he was going to throw up. It was strange for Dean, he didn't understand why he felt the need to be near the Castiel, too touch him or see him. Dean was never 'in touch with his feelings' so to speak and the whole situation with Castiel befuddled him a great deal.

* * *

Sam sat down on the couch while Castiel and Dean sat across from him on the loveseat. With his arm wrapped around Castiel, Dean planted a firm kiss on Castiel's cheek; making the angel blush.

"Dean," Castiel started, "we have a guest." he warned his husband. Dean smiled brightly at Castiel and chuckled. Castiel laughed with him and turned his attention towards Sam.

Sam looked worse than when he arrived. He was fidgeting a lot and was avoiding eye contact as well as more than a four word phrase. "Sam…" Castiel paused; wondering if he should pry in his brother-in-law's life; after a few seconds of mental deliberation, he went for it. "will you tell us what is wrong? You obviously aren't well."

Sam looked up to the angel. He felt so wrong to have to tell Castiel about where they were and how it wasn't reality. He hated that he had to take Castiel away from all of this happiness.

The drive to Dean and Castiel's house had been a nightmare. He had wanted to scream; he wanted to punch God for doing this to Castiel. Even though it was going to be one of the hardest things he ever had to do, he was glad it was he who had came in the dream instead of his older brother.

Dean...

Dean couldn't find out, if he did, he'd run for the hills and would never want to see Castiel again. He knew now, how much Castiel cared for him and why he was so attached as well as protective of Dean, he'd barf probably… Sam had to figure out how to approach this, slow and steady.

"Well, I'm going to do the dishes…" Dean said with a sigh, he patted Sam's shoulder as he passed him on his way to the kitchen.

 _Now._ Sam thought. _This is it, time to ruin his life… Fuck._

"Sam, please tell me what's wrong… Is it school? Oh no, please don't tel-"

"It's not." Sam said, cutting the angel in mid sentence. _I go to college? Cool._ "Then what is it? Me and Dean are here for you no matter what." Castiel said with a shy smile. Sam took a deep breath; approaching the subject was difficult, but time is ticking and unless Cas and he want to both die -in real life- Sam had to man up.

"Cas… T-There's no easy way to say this," _Someone kill me._ "But, all of this… you, Dean, this house, this world isn't real. You've been poisoned by a Djinn on a hunt with me and Dean. We have to leave or else we'll die in the real world. A world that actually needs you." He paused and sighed. "Do you understand what i'm saying? Do you believe me?" Sam asked next, getting up from the couch; he stood in front Castiel, watching him cautiously.

Castiel said nothing. He looked into space; body stiff as it had ever been. He could hear Dean in the background singing 'Hey Jude'.

A tear escaped his eyes and he lifted up his head to look at Sam. He knew… He knew it was time to leave; leave Dean and the beautiful life they shared. "I know Sam." Castiel finally said, after a brief silence. Sam looked back at him, shocked. "You knew? When did you find out?" He asked the angel.

More tears escaped Castiel's eyes. "A-Always… Like you did when you got here. At first, I um, I was really confused about where I was and then I clicked two and two together." He said, his voice broken and low. He didn't want to leave; He didn't want to go back to the world in which he was miserable and without Dean. "Then why did you stay?" Sam asked, sitting beside the broken angel. "Because I'm happy. I'm happy with Dean and we're in love and I just can't leave all this behind!"

"But Cas… we have to leave, our time is almost up and we gotta go unless we want to leave real Dean behind." He paused and got up to get a tissue for the angel. His heart ached at the sight of Castiel crying. Castiel always looked so brave with a rough exterior -which, he still had- but when it can to Dean, Castiel was so vulnerable.

"I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave this." Castiel replied, his heart broken and his whole body throbbing. "Our Dean, the one who is in the real world, he needs you! He counts on us. He loves us… We-" he swallowed, "we can't abandon him Cas." Sam continued, voice barely above a whisper. "If you won't leave for me, then please… leave for Dean -the real Dean." And with that said, Sam got up, took his jacket and went out the door. It was night now and Sam knew what he had to do. He went into Bobby's car and drove away.

* * *

"Dean?" Sam whispered in a weak, weak voice. "Dean?" Sam said again worried, tubes hook up everywhere. Sam felt sick it, his stomach was hurting and an impossible pain in his arms made him flinch.

"Sammy?" Dean turned around. Seeing his brother wake up, Dean rushed to his side. "Sammy! Thank God you're ok." He cheered; he frowned seeing him jerk around in pain. "Will you stop moving? Let me unhook you before you go moving up and about." Dean grumbled.

He gently removed the needles sticking out of his arms; Sam flinched each time Dean took one out. With all his squirming it took ten minutes to take them all out. "Stop complaining Samantha… last one…" Dean removed the last one and Sam sighed loudly. "You ok?" Dean asked, helping his baby brother up. Once Sam adjusted to the light, he saw the dead girls covered with white sheets and the remaining girl in a corner breathing soundly with a glass of water beside her. Then, he looked at Castiel. Dean had removed his nasty trench coat and shirt; he has also laid Castiel on the ground.

Cas was still in his dream.

"So, what happened in there? It's been an hour! Was it a nightmare? Fantasy? Tell me the juicy details." Dean asked impatiently. Sam groaned and wiped his forehead. "And why are you back and he ain't? Did you leave him there to die? Did he know it wasn't real!?"

"Shut up!" Sam said, raising his voice. "Shut up for a second ok? You're making me dizzy over here." Sam needed to assess what he was going to say. He remembered everything… every single detail and Dean could never know about what Sam saw. Ever.

"It umh… it was a dream, not a nightmare." Which was true. "Castiel was in heaven." Sam said, pausing. He looked up at Dean and said nothing more. "That's it?" Dean replied confused.

"Yeah. He was… reluctant to leave so I let him make his own decision. He's got about an hour left before he dies so we'll see what happens." Sam said getting up. He grabbed a bottle of water from Dean and drank the whole thing in record time. Sam knew he wasn't going to sleep for a long time, that was certain. Sam walked up to the teenage girl and made sure she was alright. They had to get her to a hospital and fast.

"Dean, we can't leave her here. She's got to go to a hospital." Sam said to his brother

"Yeah, I know. She's stable for now, but both of you need to go. Take baby and go to the hospital make sure she's fine and you get checked out too ok?" Dean replied, looking at the girl; her skin so pale it looked unhealthy. Sam sighed and nodded his head in agreement, "Ok, and you'll stay here with Castiel?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, I won't leave his sight." Dean replied, walking near the angel. Sam nodded again, grabbed Dean's keys and reached for the girl. She was small and obviously in pain; as he took her in his arms, she groaned and a tear escaped her eye. He left the building quickly but carefully making sure not to hurt the teenager. Once outside, the wind hit his face and Sam felt like he could breath again, the air was cool and felt like heaven on his face.

The drive to the hospital was quick and easy. The girl squirmed around a bit, but remained asleep. At the hospital, Sam and the teenager -who was rapidly identified as Laura McDonagold- were admitted.

* * *

Castiel sat on the couch trembling, it was over… all of it. The happiness he and 'fake' Dean shared was everything he wanted, everything he hoped he would have one day, but now, but now he had to go. It was time.

"Cas?" Dean said, drying his hands with a cloth. "Where's Sam?"

Cas said nothing.

"Babe, are you ok?" Dean asked in worry. Castiel looked up at his lover and smiled. He loved that man so much, He loved Dean like God loved all of his creation.

"Yes Dean, I'm fine." Castiel replied, he touched his husband's face one last time before sliding his angel blade down. He took a step back, still smiling, tears running down his cheeks. "I love you Dean, I always have and I always will…" he raised the blade up to his heart… "Cas! No!"

Bright light.

Dean

Screaming.

Dean.

Pain.

Dean.

Dark.

 **-TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

_**I haven't posted in almost a year... i'm really sorry. Anyways to update you guys, I have officially graduated High school and i'm done my first semester in College. I also still have my boyfriend, Steven (surprisingly) and we've been going strong for 17 months now :) Alright, enjoy!**_

* * *

After an hour, Dean got impatient. Castiel still hadn't woken up and they had to scram before the cops got here; he didn't feel like explaining what had happened. Dean scooped up Castiel "bridal style" and carried him outside. He made sure Cas was comfortable then took out his cell and dialed Sam, his little brother picked up at the fourth ring.

"Hey Dean. Did Cas wake up yet?" Sam asked immediately. Dean sighed on the other end and replied: "No, I waited an hour and since he wasn't woken up. So you're coming to get us and then we're gonna go home and wait it out." He paused. "Well... that's the plan anyways." Dean said. Sam looked around feeling queasy. The memory of Castiel's deepest desire was graved in his mind and he wanted to tell Dean so bad. But he couldn't... for Castiels sake.

"Alright, see you." Sam replied as naturally as possible. "Right." Dean mumbled, feeling as nauseous as his brother did.

Sam picked them up 15 minutes later. As he sat Castiel in the car, Dean noticed that something was bothering Sam, he seemed worried. "What's wrong with you?" Dean asked, Sam looked at him then, aimlessly pointed back at Castiel. "Not up for talking huh?" Dean pushed. Sam looked at his brother and mumbled 'no' then looked out the window. Dean sighed and started the engine. They went back to the motel, grabbed their stuff, paid and headed back to Lawrence. The ride was carried in small talk. They were both worried that Cas hadn't woken up yet. Sometimes, he moved a bit or mumbled thing in Enochian. When they got to the bunker, Dean carried Cas in his room and slowly set him in the bed. He checked up on him regularly and made sure Cas was ok.

* * *

Castiel woke up slowly in his bed. As he got up, he saw that he was almost completely undressed, only his boxers were on. He blushed, knowing that maybe Dean saw his body. On his nightstand, there was a damp cloth and an empty glass of water. As he went to get dressed, he felt dizzy and fell to the ground. It didn't take long before the brothers bursted into his room. Dean, shocked look on is face, rushed to help Castiel getting up. Castiel was up! He looked like hell, but he was awake!

"Dean i'm- i'm fine, really..." Castiel said in a hushed tone. Dean looked at Cas and scuffed. "Like hell you are, you've been out for almost 2 weeks. You worried us man."

"I was out that long?" Castiel replied groggily, he took Deans hand and got up slowly. He stood in the middle of his room, with only a pair of tight boxers; he remembered what had happened. He remembered the Djinn, being with Dean, Sam finding out his deepest secret and he remembered Dean, how Dean had worried and fussed. Castiel wanted to feel hope for his fantasy to come true, but he knew that Dean would have done that to anyone. He looked at Dean and Sam then himself. Cas and Dean stared at each other, Sam looked at them with his eyebrow raised; caught in the tension. After a minute he coughed and pointed at Cas.

"Maybe we should let you get dressed" Sam said, staring at Dean. It was incredibly awkward, especially with Castiel in tighty whities. At his words, Castiel blushed and moved to his dresser, Dean blushed as well and said: "Yea, get dressed." He left in a hurry, not looking back; Sam followed him and closed the door behind him.

"Thank God he woke up." Sam said. He looked at Dean to see his reaction... nothing. Dean nodded and sighed. "Yea, it was about damn time. I was getting tired of taking care of him." Dean grumbled. He felt this tight feeling in his stomach. He was so happy that Castiel was awake, he was a little to happy, but he didn't think much of it. If it were Sammy, he'd be ecstatic! He felt this way because Castiel was family, that's it. Not long after Castiel came out of his room for the first time in 12 days. He basically looked the same as always; blank expression on his face, messy hair, beige trench coat... _The good ol' Cas_ Dean thought. Cas looked at Dean and gave him the best half smile he could do then walked towards the door exiting the bunker.

"Where you going Cas?" Dean asked frowning. Castiel looked back at him "Outside." he replied, he swung the door open and stepped outside. As he stood outside, the fresh smell of nature filled his lungs, the sun beamed caressed his pale skin. Castiel took in a deep breath and made his way down the road. It was a beautiful day, the sun was bright and nature was in full bloom, the bees roamed around from flower to flower and the sky was a blue; so pure and clear. His father could create wonderful things, Castiel mused to himself. He suddenly frowned as he heard footsteps approaching him. He glanced back to see Sam running towards him, his hair flapping in the wind. Castiel turned back and sighed. He continued to walk and Sam caught up to him not long after.

"Hey Cas." Sam said, he didn't look exhausted at all, even though he'd just ran quite a bit. "Hello Sam." Castiel replied stiffly. He didn't feel like talking to Sam, not now... not ever. What Sam saw when Castiel was taken by the Djinn... Cas wanted to throw up. Sam had seen his deepest secret, something he hadn't planned on telling anyone, ever. They walked next to each other in complete silence, an awkward silence. Castiel could feel Sam looking at him, his eyes felt like they were piercing his skull.

It didn't take long for Castiel to stop and glare back at Sam. "WHAT?" Castiel growled, sending Sam the biggest death stare he could. Sam stopped next to him and sighed. "Do you remember?" Sam replied, almost in a whisper. "Remember what?" Castiel said impatiently, he abruptly turned and continued his way down the road. Oh, he remembered exactly what happened two weeks ago, but he wasn't going to admit that. Sam followed him, walking by his side. "You really don't remember?" Sam asked.

"Please be specific when you talk Sam. I do not understand what you're talking about." Castiel replied. Sam stopped him and made Castiel face him. "Do you remember the Djinn attack and your dream?"

Castiel looked up to the youngest Winchester. "No," He paused then, started walking again. "why do you ask?" Cas continued h was, as Dean called it 'playing dumb'. Sam sighed and looked far away. "To get you out of the dream state the Djinn put on you I had to go in your dream or nightmare." He paused and took in a big breath. "Turns out the Djinn decided you'd be better of dying in your most profound desire instead of a nightmare. Anyways, you hadn't woken up yet so obviously me and Dean got worried and decided I should be the one to go in and get you out."

Castiel looked straight ahead, listening carefully to Sam's words. "When I got in, I appeared at Bobby's place and he told me where you were and he said that you were in Kansas..." He pauses, _God help me_ , Sam thought. He could feel himself trembling, it was so awkward talking to Castiel about this but he had to! Dean had been asking questions and Sam didn't know what to reply! He thought he'd might as well discuss it with Cas so they'd be on the same page about the story. Sam definitely knew the Castiel wouldn't want Dean to know that Castiel wanted to be with him... Romantically. "And...?" Castiel pried, a frown dominating his pale face. His stomach was in knots and he felt like throwing up. "Well..." Sam started, "You were with Dean... and... you guys were married and in love." Hearing Sam say that made Castiel stop dead in his tracks. "How do you know it wasn't my biggest nightmare?." "Because Cas..." Sam sighed with a chuckle, "You were extremely happy, more than I'd ever seen you and so was Dean; well fake Dean." Cas didn't say anything. He nodded his head and looked away from Sam. "Listen Cas... it's ok if you like Dean, i'm not judging. In fact, I always thought you too looked good together." Sam reassured. Castiel's frown deepened. "And I promise you I won't tell Dean about it. He's actually been asking a lot of questions and I don't know what to say to him. That's why I wanted to talk to you about it. It's not like I actually want to talk about it, but I owe it to you to not tell Dean. I just want to know what to say to him."

"You want to know what I think Sam?" Castiel replied after a few minutes of silence. He didn't give Sam time to respond when he continued. "I want you to mind your business. This has nothing to do with you." He growled, "And whatever it is you think you saw is bullshit, so leave this alone and never speak to me or Dean about this... Am I understood?"

Sam nodded, a shocked expression on his face.

"Good. Glad we're on the same page." With that said Castiel flew away, leaving a shocked Sam alone.

 _What the fuck just happened?_ Sam thought, his eyes were wide and his mouth slightly opened from shock. After a few seconds, the impact of Castiel's words faded and he made his way back to the bunker. _This is not over Castiel._

* * *

 **TBC.**


	11. Chapter 11

Castiel sat atop of a building away from his brother and Sam. He needed time to breath, he needed time to be alone. He was somewhere in Australia, the sun was shining and the waves crashed on the sand. It was a soothing sound that Castiel had always found reassuring. He sat in the sand and took off his trench coat and blazer. As the wind hit Castiel's face, he forgot about what was going on back home, about how Sam knew and how Gabriel was annoying. Castiel suddenly felt sick as he felt Gabriel's presence behind him. He sighed heavily and watched as his brother sat down next to him.

"Gabr-"

"Now before you say anything and vanish again will you please let me sit down properly and enjoy the view. I want to talk to you Cassie, but i'll let you relax first." Gabriel cut him off softly. They sat next to each other in silence and looked at their surroundings. Castiel breath in, taking in the fresh sea air. The sea cleared his mind. He would often find himself on a beach, on a remote island just taking in all of his Father's creation.

They sat side by side until the sunset was in full bloom. The two angel brothers looked upon the setting sun and it's wonderful colour palette it brought with it. As the sun set on the horizon, Gabriel took a look at the younger angel; he thought about why his brother would run away from Dean and Sam. Ok, he knew why he didn't want to face Dean but Sam? Sam had seen Castiel's deepest desire, but Sam only wanted to help and understand; Gabriel knew because Sam had told him earlier that day.

"I'm in love with Dean." Castiel said. The stars were out now and the air was chilled.

"I know." Gabriel replied, after a brief moment. "I've known for quite some time now."

He looked back at Castiel and smiled. He remembered when he first noticed... "July 14th, 2010." he paused, and the angels locked eyes. "That was the day I noticed you fell for a human, felled for your charge nonetheless. I couldn't believe you'd done the same I'd done centuries before you were born. Man... when Dad found out about how I felt for that girl; He brought me back to heaven for five hundred years, just to make sure I'd learn my lesson."

Gabriel chuckled at the memory, while Castiel looked at him with a stunned expression, plastered on his face.

Castiel opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by his older brother. "Dad knows you love Dean. He wasn't really happy and he wanted to bring you back up to heaven for as long as He'd kept me, but I managed to talk him out of it - of course, he didn't like the idea of you staying with him but He agreed." Castiel didn't know what to say. He just looked at his brother attentively and waited for Gabe to speak some more.

"Listen Cassie, I want you to have what I never could with Mary, all those centuries ago. I want you to live a happy, normal life with Dean, get married, have children! I want you to have it all." He looked back at his brother, the smile fading from his lips. "And I'll be damned if you ruin it by avoiding Dean and Sam just because of your feelings. You need to tell Dean how you feel and even if he doesn't feel the same way, you'll be free."

They didn't speak for what seemed like an eternity

"The Winchesters... they care about you; as much as you care about them." With this said, Gabriel got up, saluted his brother in an army fashion and flew away.

Castiel had a lot to think about.

 **TBC.**


End file.
